Project 365: Day 2 - May 19, 2009

10:12 am. I am in my AVID classroom, the one I call my home away from home, but this morning it feels like a foreign land. My students, my AVID scholars, are off proving they are capable and I am looking at 16 students I don't know and am trying not to judge. But the judgement keeps rearing its ugly head because I am astounded at the number of students in this room who do not seem to care about the HSA sitting in front of them. There sits a ticket to graduation and they don't seem to grasp the necessity to prove they know something about our American government. All of the students in this room are here because they didn't pass it the year before. I try to give them my best "You can do this speech". I am afraid, however, it falls on deaf ears - especially the ears of the student who is still listening to his iPod. Same student who had to hand me the headphones, just bubbled in the answers and now has his head down after just 10 minutes. Another needs an electric shock to wake him up - the pool of drool gathering on his desk a profound symbol of waste. Another young lady can't stop fiddling with her bracelets or hair. Another must think that the more she looks around, the faster the time will go...she is more concerned about staring at her reflection in the computer monitor and stroking her hair and smacking her lips then she is about passing a test required for graduation. Then of course there is the new art work I found on my desk after the testing was over. (See first photo) ... The mountain, the money sign, his initials under the peak. It all got me thinking about the mountain of money our students want to make but will probably never see by honest means if they continue to make the same choices I observed today. Again, I am disappointed in my mental judgements. I find myself frustrated and the questions keep me from concentrating...

When did failing become OK? When did it become sexy to demonstrate a lazy, nonchalant attitude about education? I want to shake them; I want to ask their parents why their children have given up...ask them when exactly did it happen? Was it an overnight switch or a slow transgression? My son's first grade class is full of energetic learners...when and why does that go away? What did these students look like when they were in 1st grade? Did they ever wave their hands in the air hoping to be the one called on? How many of these 16 students will pass this time around? How did this happen? Did low expectations mold them into mediocrity?

I want to congratulate the majority of students diligently reading every question, focusing on the monumental task in front of them. I want to help the rest. They looked at the photos of my AVID 12 scholars and the colleges beside their names. They spoke about the colleges they are "going to". I of course had to ask, then why did you sleep through a test needed for graduation? The proverbial cart before the horse continues to keep some students stuck in a dream. I wish AVID was a pill everyone could take...and I am going to gratefully greet each of my AVID scholars tomorrow with a smile on my face and heart. It will feel good to be home again.