Project 365: Day 66 - Wed. July 22st, 2009

Me cubed...


Here is yet another example of how the Maryland Writing Project continues to bless my life and the lives of my students. My friend Rus posted the directions on his FB profile. It was to write about your life as if it was cubed with 6 sides. Three sides that are visible, two sides that are hidden and one side that is forbidden.

I went to summer school the next day and had my students make their "Me Cubed" cubes. Here's my version: You will need six note cards and six post-it notes - 3 of one color, 2 of another and 1 of a third color. This is so you can color code the sides.

For my cube the three visible sides are purple. On one of the purple post-its I placed a photo to represent the physical side of me that everyone sees. On the other two purple visible sides are descriptions that portray two sides of myself that the world sees - being a teacher and being a mother. The two sides that are hidden from view are orange. Beneath the orange post-it notes are the descriptions that share two hidden sides of my personality - two sides that I don't let everyone see. Two sides that I hide until I feel safe. The post-it notes can be lifted to reveal what I hide so the symbolism is evident. The bottom of the cube is green. It is not only hidden but forbidden. Underneath the green post-it is the description of the side I even try to hide from myself. The post-it is glued down so as to never be revealed - to remain forbidden. But the trick is to love myself enough to be honest and to forgive myself for that which I am eternally regretful. It is between me and God.

I urge you to cube yourself today - the reflection that takes place is necessary and could just help you release some things you've been hiding....

Project 365: Day 53 - Thurs. July 9th, 2009

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt - just how we play the hand." -- Randy Pausch

This was the quote we started class with today. What follows are some thoughts about the cards my summer school kids have been dealt....

I've only read two of their entries but so far I've learned that one student lost her older brother to leukemia and then ended up in jail cause she started rebelling and making bad choices. I'm going to give her my copy of "My Sister's Keeper" to read. Then another student spent $3,500 on a lawyer and owes a bail bondsman $100 every 2 weeks for like the rest of his life. He goes to trial this month for something he didn't do but was in the wrong place at the wrong time (I'm giving him my copy of Monster to read) ... he turns eighteen 5 days before the trial and if he is found guilty will spend 3 to 8 years in jail.

The depth and breadth of just those 2 writing circle entries was too heavy a load for my tired soul at 4:00 this afternoon ... maybe I'll get through some more tonight.

But here is what I think about my own cards...I could carry a lot of resentment in my heart for the choices my father made when my sister and I were little. I think my mom still does. But a church billboard I read today confirms what I already knew - a grudge is the heaviest burden anyone can carry. He is my dad and I love him through the mistakes, through the missing years, through the yelling. He is the reason I am here in Maryland. Even from a distance he still had a very positive impact on my life. I think I hurt my mom more than she will ever admit the day I left Michigan to move here. But it was part of a plan that I was following that I didn't understand. I'm grateful that even though she still carries residual resentment towards him, she didn't hold it against me when I forged a relationship with him as an adult. She taught my sister and I that no matter what, a mother's heart is big enough to love both children equally. I think she understands that no matter what, a child's heart is able to love both parents equally too.

Project 365: Day 11 - Thurs. May 28th, 2009

Destiny McGuire is the Office Depot Employee of the month (in my humble opinion). Today was another one of those proud teacher days for me. I went to the local Office Depot to get the $80 ink toner for my printer (it's a conspiracy I tell you!) and there was one of my AVID babies, dressed smartly in her blue shirt and black pants, smiling and courteously servicing the customer in front of her. This was in stark contrast to the service I received at Home Depot down the street a few days earlier..... allow me to digress.....

It was the day I was spending my yard sale earnings on flowers. On my cart was one bag of potting soil that weighed more than I do. When I checked out I asked if there was anyone who could help me put it in my car. The young lady helping me was certain the person designated for just this job was in the parking lot. "Just look for the guy with the orange apron," she said. So I thanked her and headed to my car. There was not an orange apron in sight. So I headed back to the same young lady and asked if she could please page someone to help. The big burly young man next to her (with an orange apron) asked what I needed unloaded. She told him a bag of soil. He said "oh". This is where I started to get a little irritated. She was not only helping another customer but was also still trying to help me. He was just standing there. 'Maybe he can't leave his register,'' I rationalized. 'But he could at least take over trying to find someone to help me'....so I stood and waited, and waited and waited some more. Until I asked yet again, "is there anyone here who is going to be able to help me?" At this point an older man, (in an orange apron) stepped out from behind something and said, "I'm sorry - what do you need help with?"
"A bag of potting soil is on the cart by my car but I can't lift it by myself."
"That's what you need help with? One bag of potting soil?"
I saw the manager name tag and the look of disgust he sent towards the big burly young man chillin' by his empty register.
"How long did you wait for someone to help you?"
"I don't think you want to know the answer to that question," I said.
"He stood there knowing you needed help with one bag of potting soil and didn't move?"
"Again, I'm not so sure you want me to answer that question."
"Wait till he hears what I have to say to him. In this type of recession he should be happy to have a bag of potting soil to move!"
"You know, I always say, lazy students make lazy employees." ...

And therein lies my thought for the day. Let me repeat it for effect....Lazy students make lazy employees. Students that lie and cheat at school will lie and cheat on the job. That young man's choice might have cost him his job today. I almost hope it did cause I know several able-bodied eager AVID students looking for jobs who would have handled that situation differently. I also know several able-bodied AVID students who would have agreed that it was someone else's job to help me. I wonder, which one are you???