"We cannot change the cards we are dealt - just how we play the hand." -- Randy PauschThis was the quote we started class with today. What follows are some thoughts about the cards my summer school kids have been dealt....
I've only read two of their entries but so far I've learned that one student lost her older brother to leukemia and then ended up in jail cause she started rebelling and making bad choices. I'm going to give her my copy of "My Sister's Keeper" to read. Then another student spent $3,500 on a lawyer and owes a bail bondsman $100 every 2 weeks for like the rest of his life. He goes to trial this month for something he didn't do but was in the wrong place at the wrong time (I'm giving him my copy of Monster to read) ... he turns eighteen 5 days before the trial and if he is found guilty will spend 3 to 8 years in jail.
The depth and breadth of just those 2 writing circle entries was too heavy a load for my tired soul at 4:00 this afternoon ... maybe I'll get through some more tonight.
But here is what I think about my own cards...I could carry a lot of resentment in my heart for the choices my father made when my sister and I were little. I think my mom still does. But a church billboard I read today confirms what I already knew - a grudge is the heaviest burden anyone can carry. He is my dad and I love him through the mistakes, through the missing years, through the yelling. He is the reason I am here in Maryland. Even from a distance he still had a very positive impact on my life. I think I hurt my mom more than she will ever admit the day I left Michigan to move here. But it was part of a plan that I was following that I didn't understand. I'm grateful that even though she still carries residual resentment towards him, she didn't hold it against me when I forged a relationship with him as an adult. She taught my sister and I that no matter what, a mother's heart is big enough to love both children equally. I think she understands that no matter what, a child's heart is able to love both parents equally too.
WOW Dona! $100 every two weeks for the rest of his life! That's pure craziness!! I'm glad they have you so you can listen and share some wisdom with them. Too much sadness.
ReplyDeleteThe last paragraph really struck a chord with me. I can only hope that my children can love their parents equally as well, and can understand later in life why I had to make the choices I made.
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